If you're lucky enough to be in any American small town on parade day, make a point to stop and watch. They'll block off main street around the square, so you're not going anywhere anyway. You might as well learn to enjoy it.

Get out of the car and find a little cafe. If you're having a very very lucky day, you might be able to find an old soda fountain still running in an anachronistic drug store. Or do what I do and just sit or stand on the side of the road with everyone else.

The police cars are always first. They clear the road and it gives a chance to show off the new cars that the local property taxes are paying for. I've always wondered what the criminals are doing with all the police in the parade, probably taking the morning off to watch like the rest of the town.

When visiting friends in a distant city, they often offer to show you the sights -- for a parade the sights come to you. And small towns are proud of their police.

In most parades, especially the Fourth of July parades like the one in Bristol RI (the oldest in the nation), the local VFW will carry the American flag right behind the police cars. Like the police, small towns are proud of the American flag and their veterans.

They're also proud of their local high schools. It's the chance for the high school marching band to play for a live audience. And the cheerleaders and drill squad. Not so much in Rhode Island, but in the South and parts of the Midwest, the highschool football team will often follow the cheerleaders.

In Rhode Island, keep an eye out for the bright uniforms of the various recreationist groups, like East Greenwich's Varnum Regulars, who help us relive the days of the Revolutionary War. The Gaspee Days parade in Warwick's Pawtuxet village brings out a lot of recreationists.

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Early in the parade, watch the local people nearby. When they cheer for someone in the parade, you have the perfect opportunity to strike up a conversation. Ask them "Who is that?" or "Do you know him?"

This is how you find out the real stories about the parade. You'll learn that the flag bearer isn't just any old veteran, but he earned a Congressional Medal of Honor during WWII. Or maybe you'll learn that the stranger you've spoken to has a daughter in the marching band and that she's going to the state college next year to learn to be a veterinarian.

Yes, you'll still get to see the shiny new fire engine, festooned with banners by the volunteer fire department. Maybe a few classical and antique cars will trail along -- after all, collectors and restorers are always looking for opportunities to show off. Somewhere along the line, you'll see the mayor and town council.

But instead of just seeing them, you'll be treated to a running commentary on the parade, the people, and their relationships. You'll find out who is related to who, who's dating who, and how your new friend feels about it all.

The key to keeping the conversation going is in asking open-ended questions. "What do you think about the local volunteer firemen?" "Why did they decide to put the local scout troop in the back of a pickup truck instead of marching them?" "What's the weather usually like for these parades?" "What are most of these parades like?" "Have you ever been in the parade?"

Along the way, expect to talk a little about yourself -- What you do for a living, why you're in town, whether or not you know anyone here, that sort of thing.

Before the last of the parade passes, ask your new friend what else there is to do in the town. Where should you eat? What places should you never miss? If you're tremendously lucky, you'll have a guide for the remainder of the afternoon. If not, you'll almost certainly have a true local's insight into the town.

So the parade ends with a trailing police car and life gets back to normal. But in the short time the parade took, you've learned more about the town and its people than you'd ever know just by driving through.

Now, my friends, you know the true secret to enjoying parades in small-town USA. Here in Rhode Island, there's one more secret -- if there's a quilt or blanket sitting on the side of the road, that spot's reserved by someone who really really really loves parades.

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