Flowing wine, ribald song, abundant food, and even a fun-loving wench or three! What a way to spend the evening!

For an evening we join the King's court, celebrating his return to his castle in the way that most of us would celebrate if we were king... by having a great time. Which king? Well... King Malcolm, of some vaguely medieval but lighthearted era, who rules over a kingdom of one jester, one idiot, a minstrel, three wenches, and a 72 or so reveling diners.

Never heard of King Malcolm? Does it matter? He has our bellies sore from laughing and over-eating all night. A man like that deserves to be king.

Let's see... vegetables, soup, crusty bread, chunks of roast beef in a stroganoff sauce, steamed mussels, salad, and roasted chicken. More than enough to fill. Provided you can lose some of your 20th century upbringing to eat with your fingers.

Despite being told that no utensils are allowed, sure enough someone always seems to believe that King Malcolm would not really live up to his reputation as a strict and wrathful regent and that they'd be allowed to use forks rather than fingers.

Their punishment? No iron maiden or rack, just a little bit of good-natured fun, like having to sing a song or recite a love sonnet in front of the assembly. Even worse if you decide to slip out quietly to the restroom without asking permission of the king.

Of course, the punishment of misbehaving patrons isn't the only fun for the evening. Bob the Jester (he says it's spelled with a silent "H") and Rusty the Idiot banter throughout, weaving the story that holds the evening's songs and merriment together into a single unit. King Malcom has returned from yet another quest to find that his less-than-beloved queen has run off to the arms of a king in a neighboring kingdom, providing a reason for celebration. So we have songs accompanied by the music of Wolfgang of London -- songs about the trinkets the king has returned with from the strange lands he set off to conquer, songs about the fantasies the serving wenches have about their boyfriends, songs about beer, songs woven around dirty limericks -- songs designed to keep us laughing while we try to scoop up our food with our fingers and wash it down with yet more beer and wine.

The show is the brainchild of Sean Kelley, a veteran of King Richard's Faire and the Boston Medieval Manor's version of the medieval feast. He devised a show that flows from a simple script into an unpredictable collection of jokes and puns, taking full advantage of the audience's own participation, both unwitting and voluntary. You can spot him in the cast, with a name more fitting his role. He said that his original plan was to direct the events from offstage, but a sudden family crisis for one of the castmembers made him don a costume and join in the merriment directly. He's been out there singing and joking ever since. The songs and jokes tend toward adult themes, so Sean warns parents that, while the kids are not exactly banned, it's not his fault if they get the jokes.

You can enjoy the feast yourself, sometimes with King Malcolm with his closely cropped black beard and sometimes with a large and imposing King Edmund, on Friday and Saturday nights at the Hose Company No. 6 -- a renovated fire station in Pawtucket. The large room upstairs works well to set the middle-ages mood with exposed timbers and masonry accessed via a spiral staircase. A few rules -- no smoking, no video cameras, and for your own sake, NO SILVERWARE!

King's Feast can be found online at www.freewebs.com/kingsfeastinc or you can call them at 401/573-0300 to make reservations. Find them at Hose Company #6 at 636 Pawtucket, RI 02861 (phone there is 401/722-7220). Reservations are required and tickets are $35 per person. Vegetarian or vegan meals can be provided with at least 24 hours notice. Seating begins at 7:30 with the show starting at 8PM.

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